Meet Sara

I come from a funny family with lots of personality. Michigan will always be home. It’s where everything began.

I met my Josh in high school, Geometry class to be exact. He will say I only passed the class because of him … he would be correct.

We found each other at 16 and never let go.

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Joshua wasn’t even supposed to move to Michigan but last minute junior year of high school, he did.

And who do you think is my table partner first day of school? Yup, some geek with braces and glasses. We became friends and he asked me to prom, but forgot to say JK. So I got a dress and then we weren’t friends for a week. He said it was the worst week of his life.  I forgave his sweet face and made him come to my softball game. He said “Are you any good” and I said “Of course, come and see”.  As he is walking up to the field, I hit a home-run. He said it was then he knew -I needed to be the one to breed him professional athlete children. We had so much fun together and I fell hard.  He became and remains, my everything.

He joined the Navy and we shacked up. Since my parents like Josh more than they like me, it was alright with them. February 2011 he proposed after a romantic dinner at our spot. To this day our spot gives me butterflies ….but that might just be because I really love Chili’s.

In March 2011 we were married.

Just Joshua, Me and a little redhead Judge named Sally.

I remember she asked him if he would always take care of me and if I would take care of him. Sweet, simple vows and we were joined together for eternity by lunch time. What a blessing.

I know that because of Joshua, I found Jesus. His love and faith in God is in inspiring. Been going strong for 8 years, Married for 4 of them.

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After all this time, our favorite thing to do together is still -NOTHING.

Netflix and fast food are fun.

After we got married, we got orders to live in Naples Italy- which according to everyone should have been dreamy. At times it was. But for the most part life overseas was just life….overseas.

It was a blessing to be able to see Rome & eat pizza though … oh yeah we ate a lot of pizza.

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Oddly enough, we lost weight while we were there. It might have to do with all of the walking,  on account of not having our vehicle over there with us. That’s a story for another time.

We traveled to Ireland too. It was my favorite. I miss Ireland.

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We adopted two puppies while in Italy.      10329157_10202114239878544_1532410053805766040_n

Shadow & Rebel

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I think that’s where our love for rescuing started.  Since leaving Italy, we have rescued another puppy. Sadly though, this puppy was sick. We knew when we got him that his seizures may never be fixed or even managed.

We only had him a month before realizing he was in too much pain. June 25, 2015  was one of the hardest days of our life.  SO much love in the month we had him. We cried all week, after we made the decision.  We gave him an amazing last day… ice cream and cheese burgers filled his belly one last time after the dog park. We had the most amazing laugh that morning  watching his eyes bulge as he ate his vanilla soft serve. We cried the whole way to the vet, every bit of us wanting to scream … I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS.

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What a great puppy he was . Wolf, will be with us forever.

 

So life has been good and hard. Mostly I think it’s been hard because I have been hard on myself. I have always had these issues with my weight. I look back 100 lbs ago to high school Sara. She was so beautiful and didn’t even know it.

I did have a successful 6 month period when Josh was on a deployment.

.397396_4934912371666_1010942128_n   I got smokin’ hott… two t’s HOTT.

I felt really good and had reached a mile stone for me, which was weighing under 200. Soon after though, I started loosening my grip & let myself go again. The first time I got on the scale and was over 200 again… I knew I had failed – so I gave up. I’m exhausted that this is a constant thought in my head. I’m exhausted that I have wanted this unattainable perfection and at 25 am realizing that it’s all in my head. That people don’t dislike me because I’m fat… actually people don’t even care. They are too busy worrying about their fat ass problems.

I wish I could tell 16 year old Sara not to get down on herself. I wish I could tell her not to gain 100 lbs. because then I would have a hell of a lot less work ahead of me. But I can’t.

Shortly after I started gaining weight back, I felt out of control and worried. I found out I had PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) …Google it.  So I discovered the prickly chin hairs, acne and unreliable periods were actually something out of my control. Have I mentioned I crave control?  Oh yeah, so I had this overwhelming experience with God. It’s so special to me and it gives me goosebumps. I prayed specifically for a while and hadn’t really gotten any supernatural feedback that I was hoping for, until a text from my brother- a message from God to him to me, changed everything.

Nick texted me He said, “I felt God wanting me to tell you that everything is going to be OK, I have a plan for your life and not to worry”.

You can take that any way you want. I know those exact words left my mouth countless times. I prayed on those exact words and His response was everything I needed to hear. It sparked this desire in me. I began learning more about God, reading his word and received more and more of these little signs. He was so faithful.

I’ve started to think – Would Jesus have done all of this and not to mention his ultimate gift to me, if I wasn’t worth it? Once I started understanding what the Bible actually says about me and about how God feels about me and how much he loves me. I know that how I feel about myself, must hurt him.

I imagine my dogs, who are the only children we have at the moment – Saying I hate my white spot on my chest or I hate my long fur in between my toes. How horrible and silly that would be. I would hurt because they were hurting.  It’s my simple brains way of sort of understanding how God must feel. He must be saying I wish you could see how beautiful and wonderful and loved and kind and special you are.

I have struggled long enough with this. I have had this kettle cooked salt & vinegar chip on my shoulder for a long time now. I’m ready to feel wonderful, look wonderful and be who God created me to be. I firmly believe this lumpy, jiggly body is not who I am. It’s what I have done to myself.

 

Hopefully with this blog, I can share my new journey. I can share my struggles with PCOS and weight loss. I can share workouts and be real.

I’m all about telling it like it is.

Ask my husband or parents – they are usually blushing or shaking their head at the things I say.

This is going to be fun. I’m ready and excited to finally tap into the potential that I have covered with Krispy Kreme and McDonald’s.

 

And I don’t care who you are… fast food is delicious. But it’s a horrible choice.

Hopefully this will be therapeutic and we can enjoy the journey together.

 

I probably won’t really start enjoying it until I see some results or have lost 100 lbs.

 

 

We’ll see.

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